Life at 55: this is not what it is supposed to be

Sun light woke me about 5AM.  As usual the bladder would not let me lay in my trusty rusty recliner any longer, so I had to get my pug, Susie, to let me get up so I could get my large frame out of the rickety recliner which is in itself quite a feat and should be considered exercise this early in the morning.  Having neuropathy in both feet makes this an even more thrilling adventure first thing in the morning as my feet don't like the pressure of my body.  Oh well, most mornings start off just like this.  Recap:  Sun light, full bladder, sleepy dog, hurting feet prolonged agony until the day must begin and I must put feet to carpet and begin the day by making my trip to the bathroom.  Return to trusty rusty recliner, move Susie slightly, sit, recline, grab phone, scan facebook, begin first game of the day.  Take my first pill.  Ah, this is the life.  NOT

I want a meaningful life.  I want to go to work like most 55 year old people.  I went to college to be able to work until I choose to retire.  These strokes and other illnesses have really pulled a number on me.  All of you out there that criticize those of us that are on social security and medicare at an early age need to stop and at least wonder what put us here.  For most of us it is not by choice.  For me it was an undiagnosed blood disorder.  This neuropathy has me where some days I cannot walk without excruciating pain in my feet and legs , in fact all days I walk like the penguin on Batman.  WTF.  I did not sign up to play that role. 

I signed up to be a behavior analyst, and by most I was considered to be quite good at my job.  However at the age of 50 my first stroke hit.  It was blamed on smoking.  I quit.  The second stroke hit at 52.  This one had no reason, so tests were run and it was discovered that I have APS, antiphospolipid syndrome.  According to the Mayo Clinic, Antiphospholipid syndrome is a disorder in which your immune system mistakenly produces antibodies against certain normal proteins in your blood. Antiphospholipid syndrome can cause blood clots to form within your arteries or veins as well as pregnancy complications, such as miscarriages and stillbirths.  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health Another symptom of this disorder is migraines. 

I had migraines from the time I was seven.  In fact they were so bad that I was on disability for the first time at the age of 40.  My doctors finally got me on medications where I could return to work.  Had they only done a simple blood test the strokes I have suffered which have turned my life upside down could have been prevented. 

The side effect since both strokes are short term memory deficits, balance issues, spelling problems, math problems, mild aphasia, can't control appetite, anger issues, over emotional, and double vision.  Given these issues I am unable to continue my work with the developmentally delayed population.  However, I am in therapy to work towards fixing the aforementioned issues and I continue to maintain my credentials with the hopes of one day being able to work with this population again.  

There is no greater joy that helping an autistic child learn to communicate his or her needs or teaching a developmentally delayed adult that there is a better way to ask for something than banging his or her head.  I long for the day that I can be of service once again.

Stroke has robbed me of my life and livelihood.  Stroke has robbed my community of a great behavior analyst.  Everyone that has unexplained migraine should have this test for this syndrome.  It should also be noted that different labs give different results.  Depending on where you live you can be tested positive or negative.  On the east coast I am negative, on the west coast I am positive.   I'm trusting the west coast labs.  When I had to go off my blood thinner for a recent surgery, it took three days for my blood to go below a normal humans level and over a month, on blood thinners, to get it up to a normal humans level, and I have to be at least two times that to prevent stroke.  So, I know I have thick blood, and so do my doctors.  There are other disorders that cause thick blood as well, have them all ruled out! 

Ah, now it's time to take that second set of pills, life is good.  NOT