Happy Birthday Mom

My Mother turned 80 on June 4th of this year. My mom was in her late 20s when I was born. I am the third of seven children by three men and two marriages of which both occurred during the same time frame.  Quite talented back in the day.  One thing my mom did not and does not have a talent for is loving  me.  It is as if I have some great character flaw or physical attribute that is or was unlovable. Perhaps it is my over-sized feet or forehead or my excess weight which she constantly mentions. Regardless, at the age of 55, she recently reminded me on the phone, after an apology for saying hurtful things, that she owed me nothing!  No shit  Sherlock!

When I was eight years old, I overheard her telling my Daddy "take these kids and get them the hell out of my hair,"  what a clue.  Hell, she even gave him her bastard she had conceived while he was on temporarily duty in Japan.  Yes, she was and is a piece of work both then and now.  She threw us away and the only person in the world that cared about us caught us with open arms.  However, she also taught some of us that it is ok to throw children away.  Way to go mom!

Daddy was not perfect.  What parent is? She accused him of everything under the son to make herself  feel better. Yes, he was an alcoholic, so were her parents, so her children carry a double risk.   Daddy died years ago, he was my rock.  My children loved him. They tolerate my mother because I love her.  Why I love her I do not know.  I think I am emotionally stunted still trying to win her love which will never happen.

She has already informed me that my youngest  half-sister will inherit everything because she is the only child that chose to stay with her.  Well, I think the most appropriate statement would be that she is the only child that had no where else to go.

So here's to my mom in her 80th year. May she somehow learn to forgive and love her children equally.  She brought them into this world each helpless and expecting nothing. To this day I expect nothing, but I am far from helpless.  I really love you mom.